To quote one of my favorite movies, Love Actually:
"Alone again...naturally."
I am officially a Single Female Surgeon yet again. I broke up with the make-up/break-up for once and for all tonight. We had an absolutely amazing nine months, and then an absolutely terrible three months in which he tried to get me to quit my fellowship, my dream, and then kissed another woman. I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't get over either transgression. And as I tried to rebuild my life around him, I started to realize that I was slowly unbuilding myself. As I said earlier, I had become a crying lump of girl, and lost my sense of self and self-esteem in the process. It has become too humiliating to keep running after a guy who embodies the Katy Perry song, "Hot and Cold."
In retrospect, I pretty much have been a serial monogamist for the past ten years. One relationship to the next. Make-up/break-up and I went out as a rebound from the relationship before him. It was one hell of a rebound.
It's time to be single and enjoy it for a bit.
Like Carrie Bradshaw says in the series finale of Sex and the City,
"But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. "
I'm going to get right on that. But first, I think it's okay to have a good cry.
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Hi, Thanks for posting a comment on my blog. You are not alone and everyone has gone through something similar. I would suggest a great book on breakups and divorce, titled "Storms can't hurt the sky" by Gabriel Cohen. It delves into Buddhist and meditation practice, but in a very accessible and secular way.
ReplyDeleteYou may feel lousy right now, but you are way better off in the long term.
Regards,
DocWhisperer
Thank you, DocWhisperer, for your words of encouragement and for the book suggestion. I will definitely get my hands on a copy of that.
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