On Adventure

This weekend, I went to the Mountain Time Zone to see the make-up/break-up. We are trying to work things out. It's a process, but as his Christmas gift, I took the first step and booked a ticket to go out there and see him.

I must say that there was a slightly selfish reason for my being out here in the dead of winter. Make-up/break-up is a skier. A very, very good skier. I know that if this is going to work out, I must take an interest. And actually, it's not that I feel like I have to, it's something I've always wanted to learn how to do.

Unfortunately, I booked the plane ticket to visit before we knew his call schedule and it turned out that he was on in-house call for the entirety of Saturday. So I figured, what the heck? I bought some snowpants and took myself out to the slopes for an all-day skiing lesson.

It was absolutely fabulous. I had a wonderful time--it got my mind off everything except managing to stay upright. I had a smile on my face the whole day for the first time in several months. And though I landed on my ass...just a few times...I was proud of myself for creating a bit of adventure.

During the ski lesson, I met two lovely young, successful ladies from Maryland who were part of my class--they were full of questions and advice about my rather silly little love life. They were surprised and proud that I put myself out there on the slopes and didn't wait for my man to take me skiing.

One of the ladies was married and had three kids, the other woman was recently separated from her husband. They both advised me to take my time and not be in a hurry to get married.

But, I retorted, the family pressures, the biological pressures, the societal pressures...

Again, they reiterated that the most important relationship I would ever have in my life is the one I have with myself. They believed that in order to be in a successful relationship with someone else, I first have to be in a successful relationship with myself. Essentially, I must know and love myself in order to know and love someone else.

Interesting advice, and something I had been thinking about a lot recently, but hadn't been able to articulate until I met the Maryland ladies on Saturday. As an experiment, I've taken this on. Instead of waiting for phone calls, texts, whatever, I am trying to get out and live my own life a bit, to find some adventure. I'm getting back in touch with my friends, learning new things, and taking time to get to know myself again as an individual separate from him.

Granted, this is a challenge in the confines of a resident schedule. But I figure that one small adventure each day is a good start.

I will report back on this.