Wisdom (?) From the Lion's Den

I've spent the last couple weeks processing a lot of things that have been going on in my life.

First, there is the work aspect.  I recently changed the entire focus of my research projects--for the better.  I think there is an entire separate post in this, so I'm going to save it for another day.  The gist of it lies in those words of wisdom from Einstein.  Something about insanity being doing the same thing over and over again hoping for different results.  There were no results.  It was time to move on, and I'm much happier for it.

Second, there is the life aspect.  As you all know, my love life has been on palliative care recently, and (I know you don't necessarily want to hear this) it has been surprisingly wonderful.  I've spent some quality time with myself, friends, and various new activities, and have realized that I actually love being single and independent when I take the pressure off myself to "find a man."

That being said, I did accept a date with The GamePlayer as I'll call him (thanks to my highly creative knitting group).  We met up at a hipster bar in a hipster part of town and after a few hipster cocktails, I started picking his brain about the dating trials of being a single female surgeon. 

I was a bit disappointed.  All The GamePlayer could come up with was: "Well, it's a good filter."

Okay, thanks Master of the Obvious. 

Or, is it so obvious?

I'm not convinced anymore that the surgeon thing is just a filter for men that are not worthy, because it seems that every man just passes through the filter and no one gets caught.  What if it's not a filter effect?  What if it's just that there are no men who have the balls to date high-achieving women?  Scary thought, but it's one that's becoming more pervasive.

Recently, someone sent me an article from The Wall Street Journal called "Where Have all the Good Men Gone?"  It's a snapshot from the introduction of an opus about this topic by Kay S. Hymowitz called Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys.  I'm in the process of reading the book, but as far as I am into it, the premise is that women are kicking men's butts in just about every arena--education, income, success, etc.  So, maybe there aren't any men left who are at the same level we are.  Again, scary thought.

Hymowitz also talks about how men are living in a state of "preadulthood."  Sort of a continuation of the college frat boy existence.  I'm not going to disagree with that, especially after seeing the apartments belonging to some of my previous dates.  However, is it possible that maybe women are also, just a little bit, living in a state of preadulthood, too?  We value our freedom and independence, drinks and mani/pedis with the girls--sure it looks a little prettier than the guys' version--but I think we've got a little in us as well.

So, what next?  How do we date in a preadult world?  Do we need men at all?  Are the traditional ideas of dating, love, and marriage altered?

No easy answers, minimal wisdom, but loads more questions.

Happy International Women's Day!

Today is the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day.  This commemoration was first started in 1911 in various countries in Europe in order to serve as a rally to end discrimination against women.  You can read more about the history of the women's movement and the start of International Women's Day at the official website.

I've been reading a lot of posts throughout the blogosphere about this day, and I want to draw your attention to a couple notable ones.

First, if you haven't read the book Half the Sky by the husband and wife journalist duo Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, please kindly get on it.  Add it to your Kindle, Nook, bedside table queue, whatever.  Heartbreaking, yet inspiring, the book tells the stories of women facing challenges head-on around the world.  Kristoff and WuDunn discuss poverty, health care, female genital mutilation, and child prostitution, in addition to other atrocities that are being dealt with under the leadership of many fearless women and even a few fearless men.  Check out the link to the Half the Sky movement website here, and to Nicholas Kristof's New York Times post for International Women's Day here.

Inspired?  Think about helping a woman out of poverty by sponsoring a small business through microfinance by giving to Kiva.

Half the Sky is required reading on the rather tangible plight of women's inequality around the world.  However, what about the more intangible inequalities faced by women here in the United States?

Ariana Huffington's post on International Women's Day spoke to me greatly.  Here's a link.  Though at first glance it may seem like we've fought for and won the same rights as men over the past one hundred years, the fact remains that we are still trying to figure out what our hard-earned women's liberation actually means.  Huffington describes the clash of being a woman with the masculine traits that appear to be required to succeed in our professions.  Sound familiar to anyone?  It sure does to me.

I know I've mentioned this before, but after you read these blog posts, give to Kiva, and read Half the Sky, consider...no...do find a mentor and then become a mentor to a woman yourself.  It's a tough world out there, and it helps to have a guide, or to be a guide.

I dedicate this post to an incredible woman who has mentored me since I moved to the Eastern Time Zone (heck, even before I moved), and who shows me every day how to traverse a difficult male-dominated landscape with grace, while still being true to herself.  Thank you.

Happy International Women's Day!