u r nutz

The other night, I thought I met someone nice, interesting, and well-adjusted.  We had a few beverages, talked, snuggled.  I thought it all went swimmingly.

Then, the next day, I got a text message from him:

u r nutz

Aside from the utterly annoying lack of grammatical decency, I was floored by the bluntness.  What on earth does this mean?  And why, oh why, would you ever say that to someone you barely know?

Then, I started to wonder if maybe he was right.  I looked over the blog posts from the past nine months, and the ridiculous cemetery of my past relationships and recent dates.  Why do men think I'm a project?  And why do they make these snap judgments?  Is this some new pick-up scheme?  The extreme "neg?"

I started to wonder if maybe there was something to this text message.  Maybe I am actually crazy, I don't have the insight to realize and fix it, and that's why I'm still single?  I started frantically Googling DSM criteria and diagnoses like a first year medical student.  Did any of the diagnoses fit me?  Oooh...maybe I have a personality disorder?  Borderline?  Narcissist?  Avoidant?  Or, rue on me, maybe antisocial?

After a little bit, I calmed myself down.  We all have issues, quirks, baggage--even this Nutz Guy.  Especially after the trauma that is nearly fifteen years of delayed gratification, schooling, and residency.  We also have our ups and downs.  We all have insecurities.  And even in a huge new city, in a profession in which we are constantly surrounded by people, we can still be lonely.

I let the text message get me down for (embarrassingly) several days.  Then, I decided to let it roll off my back.  I don't think I'm crazy, but a little self-exploration is a generally healthy thing.

But I won't be seeing Nutz Guy again.  Or maybe I'll reconsider, if he starts spelling out his words like a normal person.