Arranged Dating Part Deux: The Infamous Date Itself

I feel like there's been a lot of build-up for Arranged Dating Guy.  For the past six weeks, between my parents (well, my dad), the blog, the Brain Trust, and even myself, there's been a lot of speculation.

You all know how disastrous our first conversations were--at least from my perspective.  You all know how the recent dates have gone--a series of hits and mostly misses.

Despite all of this, I couldn't help but wonder whether I was going to meet my future husband on Wednesday night.  It added an air of excitement, anticipation, and gut-wrenching fear to the evening.  If I wanted to get married in the next one year, all I had to do was say the word after this meeting.

I had made reservations for dinner at a local hot spot that I have been wanting to try.  As I got ready for the date, I tried to maintain some perspective and keep an open mind as the Brain Trust recommended.  I put some effort into my appearance (I bought a dress), and wondered whether it would be love or dislike at first sight.

As I tottered my way to the restaurant in precariously tall heels (yeah, I went all out), I found Arranged Dating Guy waiting in the entry.

Immediately, in spite of all my openness and perspective, I knew this date was doomed.

Perhaps I'm being too picky...but gentlemen, a bit of advice.  If you're meeting a potential future wife at a local hot spot, jeans and a T-shirt will not suffice.  Please.  At least pretend like you're trying!

We sat down to dinner, perused the menu, ordered drinks (well, I ordered a drink--he doesn't drink), and started talking.  In the two hours we spent together, it was apparent that we had nothing in common.  He doesn't read, I do.  He doesn't like exploring the world, I do.  He hates big cities, I love them.  The list could go on and on.

At the end of the date,  I asked him to put his cards on the table.  What were his intentions here?

He stated (in checklist form) that he had completed his education, residency, fellowship, and was in a stable private practice job.  It was time to get married and have kids.  He stated he wanted to get married within the next year.  He didn't want to move to my city, but preferred to have a long-distance relationship until I could join him.

Though it may sound shocking, it was all what I expected.  I thanked him for his time and sent him on his way.  I don't want to do long distance--especially after everything that happened with Make-up/Break-up.  Nor do I want to be an action item on someone's checklist.  No matter how good the action is.  It all felt like a job interview and a business arrangement.  Not like love.

I have to say I went through a bit of withdrawal after the date.  I had ended things with Older Guy, Saxophone Guy, and now the Arranged Date was over.  Tabula rasa.  Back to inner game, exploring the world, and perhaps running into love along the way...