I'm Going on a Diet

Okay, so the last few blog posts have been rants on various topics in "single gal news."
Here's an update on what's been going on in my little world:

I can't seem to get make-up/break-up out of my life.  Despite multiple firm attempts telling him to leave me alone, I am still being accosted with texts and phone calls on a daily basis.  Unfortunately, I actually fell for one of his pleas a couple weeks ago ("I only want to be with you.  I'm sorry.").  And at first, well, for a couple days, he was attentive and trying to be good boyfriend material, but quickly, things went south. 

This culminated in me telling him that he either needed to make a commitment or he needed to keep to his side of the Rockies.  He fumbled and futzed and I never got a straight answer.  So I was very emphatic with him this time that he needed to just leave me the hell alone.  It's been three months since I officially dumped him!

This led to multiple calls and texts begging forgiveness--he knew not what he did.  Interestingly, he called for a couple days, now it's texts.  Hopefully soon it will be nothing.  Amazing how quickly he has given up even though he "only wants to be with me." 

I'm trying to be strong.  I'm not answering anything.  As much as I want to, I know this guy is Mr. Big.  Cool, but self-focused and truly unavailable.  I know that the same cycle will occur again, I will get hurt and frustrated.  Alter-ego "crying lump of girl" will come out again.  I know I can't trust him anymore.

The scary thing is...there was a time he really wasn't like this.  I truly think he went through some kind of intern year meltdown and it has forever changed the kind, sweet, affectionate man I knew into...well, a stereotypical male surgeon. 

I was talking with one of my fellow SFS's who has a friend who recently dated a surgeon, and she had a similar situation.  He was cold...in bed and out.  He seemed to care only about himself and was unable to be truly affectionate.  I have had similar experiences in dating other male surgeons--I couldn't even get one to have totally casual sex!

So, I've decided to go on a diet.  A male surgeon diet.  Male surgeons are officially off the menu for now.  No matter how tasty, how tempting, I'm going to go try some health food.