"Black Cloud"

We all know and love and fear the term "Black Cloud."  I'm never quite sure how to define this for my non-medical friends and family:


Black Cloud (adjective): 1. a term used to describe a medical trainee whose pager beeps incessantly, 2. a term used to describe a medical trainee who never gets sleep on call, 3. a term used to describe a medical trainee who admits multiple ("train wreck") patients per night, 4. a term used to describe a medical trainee whose pager number is on speed-dial in the emergency room

Pretty much every one of these definitions could be used to describe me over the past two months.  Hell, over the past seven years.  As a resident, there were some attendings who dreaded being on call with me, knowing that there would be multiple consults to round on and trauma to operate on all night. 

But we Black Clouds have to wear our pagers and dark circles with pride.  Pride (coupled with multiple cups of coffee) is the only way we can hold our heads up...from nodding off.  We chalk up our experiences to "learning opportunities."  There has been no shortage of learning for me recently.

As a result of my Black Cloud status, it's been a bit of a dry spell here at SATS.  Well, I take that back.  I am having a torrid love affair--with Hospital.  We spend all of our time together.  We call each other constantly.  We can't get enough of each other.  We learn more about each other every day and our bond just grows stronger. 

But in all seriousness, as a result of my love affair with Hospital, there hasn't been much room for anyone else in my life.  It's amazing how little time an 90+ hour workweek leaves for anything else.  Just trying to maintain relationships with my family can be a challenge.  I'm embarrassed to say that I finished my Christmas shopping on December 27th. 

I know that the love affair with Hospital and the Black Cloud status have an expiration date.  I know that I will eventually be able to re-enter normal life.  I know that the more Black Cloud experiences I have, the better physician and surgeon I will be.  But in the meantime, in these few days I have off for the holidays, I will slumber.

Beep, beep, beep!