Wisdom (?) From the Lion's Den

I've spent the last couple weeks processing a lot of things that have been going on in my life.

First, there is the work aspect.  I recently changed the entire focus of my research projects--for the better.  I think there is an entire separate post in this, so I'm going to save it for another day.  The gist of it lies in those words of wisdom from Einstein.  Something about insanity being doing the same thing over and over again hoping for different results.  There were no results.  It was time to move on, and I'm much happier for it.

Second, there is the life aspect.  As you all know, my love life has been on palliative care recently, and (I know you don't necessarily want to hear this) it has been surprisingly wonderful.  I've spent some quality time with myself, friends, and various new activities, and have realized that I actually love being single and independent when I take the pressure off myself to "find a man."

That being said, I did accept a date with The GamePlayer as I'll call him (thanks to my highly creative knitting group).  We met up at a hipster bar in a hipster part of town and after a few hipster cocktails, I started picking his brain about the dating trials of being a single female surgeon. 

I was a bit disappointed.  All The GamePlayer could come up with was: "Well, it's a good filter."

Okay, thanks Master of the Obvious. 

Or, is it so obvious?

I'm not convinced anymore that the surgeon thing is just a filter for men that are not worthy, because it seems that every man just passes through the filter and no one gets caught.  What if it's not a filter effect?  What if it's just that there are no men who have the balls to date high-achieving women?  Scary thought, but it's one that's becoming more pervasive.

Recently, someone sent me an article from The Wall Street Journal called "Where Have all the Good Men Gone?"  It's a snapshot from the introduction of an opus about this topic by Kay S. Hymowitz called Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys.  I'm in the process of reading the book, but as far as I am into it, the premise is that women are kicking men's butts in just about every arena--education, income, success, etc.  So, maybe there aren't any men left who are at the same level we are.  Again, scary thought.

Hymowitz also talks about how men are living in a state of "preadulthood."  Sort of a continuation of the college frat boy existence.  I'm not going to disagree with that, especially after seeing the apartments belonging to some of my previous dates.  However, is it possible that maybe women are also, just a little bit, living in a state of preadulthood, too?  We value our freedom and independence, drinks and mani/pedis with the girls--sure it looks a little prettier than the guys' version--but I think we've got a little in us as well.

So, what next?  How do we date in a preadult world?  Do we need men at all?  Are the traditional ideas of dating, love, and marriage altered?

No easy answers, minimal wisdom, but loads more questions.