Sunday, November 21, 2010

Bond...James Bond

Last night, I went out with a couple of Brain Trust gentlemen and one of their better halves.  After a long day (and a Saturday at that) of "Communication Skills" training, we decided that drinks were in order.  We headed to a very interesting bar that was part Chuck Bass and mostly James Bond.

As befitting for a bar which a tuxedo-ed Daniel Craig would frequent, I ordered a scotch on the rocks and the Better Half ordered a similar scotch drink.  The Brain Trust gentlemen...much to their chagrin...ordered some mixed drinks which arrived in girlie glasses.

As the Better Half and I looked at the mixology on our end of the table, and discussed my recent spate of weak dates, we wondered...where have all of the manly men gone?

I recently went out with Older Guy again--despite the fact that he asked me out, he hemmed and hawed about the time, the date, the activity.  I also recently went out with a guy I met a couple months ago and haven't introduced to the blog yet.  I thought he had potential, but then realized that in actuality, he was the girl and I was the guy in every interaction we had--talking, making plans, past relationships.  Just telling him what I did for a living led to an immediate, "You're intimidating."  Eek!

So gentlemen, here is a blueprint on "How to Not Be a Girlie-Man When Dating a Single Female Surgeon:"

1. Advance planning is necessary--especially if you're going to take up Single Female Surgeon's Saturday night slot.  Texting the day of the date with plans is weak, Girlie-Man behavior, and I likely have made other plans already.
2. When the date plan is made, incessant calling/paging/texting/emailing/Facebooking/Twittering/etc on the day of the date to confirm plans is not necessary.  This screams Girlie-Man insecurity and we will run like Bond being pursued by Russians in the Siberian wasteland.
3. We don't want to hear about your many ex'es.  There is zero-tolerance for crying on a date.
4. Frozen drinks are for children.  Please order your drink on the rocks, or shaken (not stirred).
5. Appropriate, tasteful dress for the venue is required.  For suggestions on attire, review Casino Royale.
6. Never, ever, ever tell a Single Female Surgeon she is intimidating.  This is the girliest of Girlie-Men moves.  You may think it, but saying it out loud results in her having license to kill the relationship.

The conclusion?  There is only one man for me.  His name is Bond...James Bond. 


4 comments:

  1. Recognize - YOU are Bond, James Bond

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  2. Ha, ha. So true...I love a shaken, not stirred dirty gin martini. Does that mean I need a Bond Girl-ie Man?!

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  3. So you think you're James Bond? Would James Bond cry in the hallway because people were saying bad things about her? Do you think you're a manly man? Just because you study penises all day long doesn't mean you know anything about being a man. If you knew men so well maybe you wouldn't be old and single. Maybe it isn't the world that's undateable. Maybe it's you. Before you pass judgment on others make sure you can take it too.

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  4. To VoR,

    Wow. I'm so sorry you're angry. Please feel free to shoot me an email if there's anything you'd like to discuss. I'd be happy to.

    Best,
    SFS

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