Bond...James Bond

Last night, I went out with a couple of Brain Trust gentlemen and one of their better halves.  After a long day (and a Saturday at that) of "Communication Skills" training, we decided that drinks were in order.  We headed to a very interesting bar that was part Chuck Bass and mostly James Bond.

As befitting for a bar which a tuxedo-ed Daniel Craig would frequent, I ordered a scotch on the rocks and the Better Half ordered a similar scotch drink.  The Brain Trust gentlemen...much to their chagrin...ordered some mixed drinks which arrived in girlie glasses.

As the Better Half and I looked at the mixology on our end of the table, and discussed my recent spate of weak dates, we wondered...where have all of the manly men gone?

I recently went out with Older Guy again--despite the fact that he asked me out, he hemmed and hawed about the time, the date, the activity.  I also recently went out with a guy I met a couple months ago and haven't introduced to the blog yet.  I thought he had potential, but then realized that in actuality, he was the girl and I was the guy in every interaction we had--talking, making plans, past relationships.  Just telling him what I did for a living led to an immediate, "You're intimidating."  Eek!

So gentlemen, here is a blueprint on "How to Not Be a Girlie-Man When Dating a Single Female Surgeon:"

1. Advance planning is necessary--especially if you're going to take up Single Female Surgeon's Saturday night slot.  Texting the day of the date with plans is weak, Girlie-Man behavior, and I likely have made other plans already.
2. When the date plan is made, incessant calling/paging/texting/emailing/Facebooking/Twittering/etc on the day of the date to confirm plans is not necessary.  This screams Girlie-Man insecurity and we will run like Bond being pursued by Russians in the Siberian wasteland.
3. We don't want to hear about your many ex'es.  There is zero-tolerance for crying on a date.
4. Frozen drinks are for children.  Please order your drink on the rocks, or shaken (not stirred).
5. Appropriate, tasteful dress for the venue is required.  For suggestions on attire, review Casino Royale.
6. Never, ever, ever tell a Single Female Surgeon she is intimidating.  This is the girliest of Girlie-Men moves.  You may think it, but saying it out loud results in her having license to kill the relationship.

The conclusion?  There is only one man for me.  His name is Bond...James Bond. 

Active Surveillance

Ladies.  I know it's been a long time.  It's been a long time since I've been on a date.  Between disastrous dates, numerous out-of-town weddings, a major holiday, getting ready to move to a new apartment, and an illness in the family, I've had a major case of dating fatigue. 

One of the members of the Brain Trust has coined (well, borrowed) a term for this: active surveillance.  This is a phrase that is generally applied to patients with low risk prostate cancer who elect to monitor things and act only if the situation worsens.  Mind you, this is very active monitoring with regular follow-up--not watchful waiting!

In the dating realm, active surveillance involves continued vigilance to potential dating prospects, however, not actually engaging in the act of dating due to lack of decent prospects or lack of motivation.

I can attest to both.

Recently, I attended (yet another) wedding in the Southern Central Time Zone and reconnected with dear friends from college.  They are all married now or in serious relationships headed in that general direction.  I am the freedom-loving single gal of the bunch, which is a status I have been enjoying to the utmost in recent months.

One of my friends and her new husband decided to play matchmaker with one of their friends.  Indian, interventional cardiology...in the Central Time Zone.  Much to my surprise, I was game and let them give him my number.

Long story short, it has been two weeks and we have only managed to talk to voice mailboxes.  Between his work schedule and my work/social schedule, we have not been able to connect for a full two weeks.  Which begs the question...I just don't have time or the motivation to run through this rigmarole.  My research project is taking shape, I have new friends in a new city, and every night is booked with a different activity.  With so much mental and social stimulation, my life is full and I don't feel like I'm missing anything else. 

So, onward with surveillance, while I continue to be active in every other aspect of my life.