Three Ups and Three Downs

I was out at a bar the other night with some friends and met an interesting guy.  He was a financial type, Indian, and age-appropriate.  Very gregarious.  We got to talking and hit it off.  He was smart and funny, and seemed interesting.  Perhaps most importantly, he seemed secure and not intimidated by me or what I do.

The evening progressed and he, my friends, and I were having a great time.  At the end of the night, we kissed and he asked me out on a date.

So we went out on Friday night.  I picked the cuisine (sushi), he picked the restaurant.  We met up and he was actually cuter than I remembered.  We ordered a bottle of sake and started talking.  The first hour went great...then I think he started to get inebriated and then everything started to go downhill...

Clearly, this guy was not as secure as I thought he was.  He began psychoanalyzing me.  He started a game called "3 ups and 3 downs."  He wanted me to tell him three things I liked about him and three things I didn't.  Then, he would do the same.  Somehow, I convinced him to start first.  The ups were pretty much superficial: oohh...you're so pretty.  Gag.  The downs, well the downs were down and dirty:

You're so innocent--don't lose your innocence.
You're so scared to trust--you've built a wall around you and keep everyone at arm's length.
You're so shy and need to be more outgoing.

I'm getting angry again just writing this.  He was so proud of himself for "getting me" after knowing me for mere hours.  He even told me that he wanted to work on these "issues" while we were together.  Aargh!

I was pissed off.  He started planning out our next dates and even had the audacity to determine on which date I would be willing to go to fourth base--date number 10--if I could "hold out that long."  Yeah.  This guy is definitely a winner.

Needless to say, this date ended with me being visibly upset, him getting in a cab and me getting on the subway to meet up with my friends for a drink and a replay of the evening.  Interestingly, the next day, he texted me because he had a great time and wanted to hang out again.  So. Not. Happening. Dude.

When I reviewed the "game tape" with my friends, I found out about a new phenomenon.  Am I the last person on earth to hear about The Game?  And negs?  I'm doing a bit of research on this topic.  More to come soon.

SingleFemaleSurgeon Goes on a First Date

I'm not usually huge on "arranged dating," but my roommate and her friend decided to take on the disaster that is SingleFemaleSurgeon and set up a semi-blind date.

It felt kind of surreal actually.  It seems like people don't really go on dates anymore--there's a lot of just random hanging out in groups of people and then hooking up.  Certainly, this is how I've met my last couple boyfriends.  I don't think I've actually been asked on a bona fide date in probably about two years--when I had a short stint doing online dating.

So, after some emailing back and forth, we set up a time to do coffee.  We went to a cute, lively coffee shop populated by undergraduates studying music and picked out some...iced tea.  He was an incredibly nice man with varied interests and the conversation flowed from both sides. 

As an aside, isn't live conversation a dying art?  Between the brevity of texting, the choppiness of online chatting, and the incomplete sentences of email, it seems like I do very little connecting face to face on a daily basis.  It was refreshing.

He took me on a brief tour of his community garden, I introduced him to my take on beers with a visit to a great little liquor store.  He walked me home and ended the date with a gentlemanly hug.  Lovely.

It was such a pleasant evening.  I'm not sure this guy is the right one for me, but at the very least, I think I made a new friend. 

Frankly, I'm not sure that this gal is ready for anything serious at this point.  Think I'm still tweaking the relationship with my single self.